Can you really go home again?

After searching for awhile, I landed a new job and got back into consulting. My first task was to fly to San Francisco for a week of training. I took the opportunity to stay in a hotel near my old neighborhood and I got to walk past my old house and other neighborhood hang outs on my way to the train station to ride into the city.

I've lived in Utah for nearly 30 years, but San Francisco is my hometown. I've never quite fit in in Utah, and I think a big reason why is because of the attitudes and experiences I gained while living in the city by the bay. I was nearly nine years old when my family moved to Utah, but a small part of me never left. Every time I eat an artichoke or sourdough bread (I never ate Rice-A-Roni until I moved to Utah), or listen to Journey, or watch Foul Play, I'm reminded of who I am and where I came from. I think part of that stems from the experiences that immediately followed the move to Utah, including encountering the Stepfords that lived on Sandy's east bench at the time. But as I walked past the Lexuses, Beamers, Benzes and other signs of yuppification that lined the street I grew up on, I can't help but wonder if the same thing would have happened eventually.

It's natural to wonder if one can ever go home again once you move away from your childhood home. For some people, the answer is no. My wife's childhood neighborhood in west Sandy was bulldozed for a Silo electronics outlet and is now the parking lot of a Lowe's hardware store. Also, while my father's childhood home in Belmont, CA is still standing, the drive-in theater across the street where he and his brothers worked is now an industrial strip mall and warehouse complex. On the other hand, my childhood home (shown in the photo above) is still there. Its white exterior has since been painted brown, and the empty lot across the street where I used to ride my bike on an often-muddy dirt track now has a small apartment building, but the rest of the neighborhood has been sealed in a time capsule. I was able to buy doughnuts for my new co-workers at the same doughnut shop down the street that made hot, fresh doughnuts decades before anyone had heard of Krispy Kreeme. The convenience store where I used to buy candy bars and sneak glances at the skin mags in the racks in front of the cashier is still there (along with the skin mags, although they're mostly covered up now). The city park my parents led the fight to build is still up the street, although the original tire swings and metal slides have been replaced by modern plastic and composites. The mall on the other side of the freeway has added Target to its stable of anchor tenants and has a BART station with a huge parking garage out front, but I found myself resisting the temptation to switch off the escalator for old time's sake.

I had a great week, and I got to make some new memories of my hometown (riding BART and Caltrain for the first time, getting lost downtown, walking through a scary industrial area after dark with homeless people and drug dealers on my way to the Gold's Gym to work out). But a funny thing happened. I actually missed Salt Lake and I looked forward to going home. My wife and family are here, and even if I managed to find a way to afford to move back, somehow I don't think it would be the same. My kids have only ever lived in Utah, and they'd be in for as much of a culture shock as I was.

Even though my old neighborhood hasn't changed, I'm not the same person I was, and I think that's a good thing. I've been through a lot of refining fire since coming to Utah and I think it's made me a better person. The same phoniness and hypocrisy that exists in Utah exists everywhere (even in my hometown), and had I stayed I don't think I would have been able to recognize it and avoid it. Also, had I not come to Utah, I probably would've gone to San Jose State instead of Utah State (no offense to the Spartans, but I think I made the right choice) and I would've missed meeting my wife and a lot of other people whose friendships I treasure.

So while a part of my heart will always stay in San Francisco, I came home determined to do my part to make Utah a better place, including challenging cultural orthodoxy, driving brain-dead conservatives nuts (thinking conservatives are fine), and keeping high priest group meetings from being boring. It may be difficult, but you'll thank me later.

Since we're in a giving mood, should we bail out the Detroit 3?

Before my current job in the financial industry, I worked as a consultant with Chrysler, so I like to think I have some experience with the auto industry. I commuted to Detroit every other week for six months and I got to see close-up how much Detroit is dependent on the auto industry. In spite of the greater Detroit metro area being much larger than Salt Lake, it's really a one-industry town. Nearly everyone living and working there depends on the auto industry to one degree or another. I'll admit it's hard to separate my personal feelings for the city and my former colleages who still work there, but I think there are many objective reasons to bail out the U.S. auto industry that ultimately outweigh all the reasons I've heard not to. Here in no particular order are my reasons why:

1. Detroit has already had a lot of bad news (the mayor being convicted of misconduct following a lurid sex scandal, median home prices cratering) but failure of the Big 3 would turn Detroit into a ghost town. The demise of the Big 3 would deal a crippling blow to the two major research universities in the area. Can you imagine college athletics without Michigan and/or Michigan State being major players? Also, Detroit-Wayne County International Airport is a major international gateway and a major hub for Northwest/Delta Airlines. Detroit generates a significant amount of O & D traffic to Japan and Germany which would disappear overnight without the Big 3 feeding the planes.

2. The ramifications would extend far beyond Detroit. The parts suppliers that serve the Big 3 are located all throughout the midwest and beyond. Now some of those suppliers serve other auto makers besides the Big 3, but the Big 3 generate enough demand that if they pull some of the parts suppliers down with them, it could seriously impact Toyota, Mazda, Volkswagen, BMW, et. al.

3. Auto dealers can't switch to other brands on the fly. Looking at our situation in Salt Lake, some of the bigger dealerships (Larry Miller, Ken Garff) sell enough foreign brands to ensure they'd survive. But many of the smaller ones and even one big one (Jerry Seiner) that sell only American cars would likely disappear, putting a lot of people out of work locally.

4. The Big 3 are a major part of Barack Obama's green energy initiative. He has said on several occasions that he wants to confront global warming by retooling the auto industry to produce green cars. If any or all of the Big 3 go away, he likely won't get that chance.

5. The Big 3 represent the last major manufacturing sector in this country. If it goes away, our manufacturing base is pretty-much gone and unlikely to ever return, at least in my lifetime.

Now a lot of people are making the argument that auto industry executives are responsible for this mess and don't deserve to be bailed out. However, I rented a lot of American cars when I travelled to Detroit and I must say that American cars are a lot better than they used to be. I think at this point the bigger problem isn't quality, it's reputation. Also, the three current CEO's are all relatively recent hires and can't be held responsible for the sins of their predecessors.

Others are hoping the Big 3 go into bankruptcy to break up the UAW and dump their pension obligations. I've seen some pretty crazy figures thrown around about how much the average UAW employee earns vs. his/her counterpart in right-to-work states. I don't know anyone in Detroit that earns even close to $72 per hour. Also, while there are some industry groups where it's difficult to justify unionization (professional athletes, airline pilots), in the case of the auto industry it makes sense to remain unionized. Also, if the Big 3 are at a disadvantage to their foreign counterparts with regard to pension obligations and retiree health care. But in nearly all cases, the foreign car companies all have some form of universal health care. I can't imagine how much of a strain on the health system would be brought to bear if all Big 3 retirees lose their health care benefits.

Finally, almost without exception, foreign car companies are subsidized by their governments during downturns. Some of the Japanese car companies are in even greater sales slumps than the Big 3 ranging from 33% to 42%. One reason they're not struggling is that they're receiving help from the Japanese government. If we're unable to provide some assistance to our car companies, we're placing them at a big competitive disadvantage.

So in a nutshell, it's time for Washington to come to the aid of Detroit.

Things I'm thankful for this year

I'm glad we have a holiday like Thanksgiving. Sure, it can be a hassle to travel to visit relatives, especially if said relatives live out of state in a down economy such as this, and everyone eats too much, but remembering the true meaning of Thanksgiving (besides selling Turkeys and getting everyone revved up for the start of the Christmas shopping season) can be very helpful to living a happy and peaceful life. So in that spirit, here are the things I'm grateful for:

1. I still have a job! I really hope this doesn't sound too much like gloating, because I realize a lot of people are losing their livelihoods, homes, life savings, and just about everything else. I feel your pain. I've been there. And I'm thankful I'm not there myself...yet.

2. My kids are relatively healthy. My son with special needs is battling a bad cold right now, so I'm going to stay home with him instead of visiting my in-laws. Now I like my in-laws and I get along with them very well, but trying to stick to your diet is hard enough without your mother-in-law guilt tripping you about not eating more. In spite of that, it could be a lot worse. One of my son's classmates has missed most of the school year and was hospitalized for several months due to a nasty infection. When dealing with medically fragile kids like this, keeping them out of the hospital can be a victory in its own right.

3. I'm not in Mumbai right now. Just in time for the holiday season, we get a fresh reminder that there are crazy homicidal religious wackos that want to destroy everyone and everything. I've been watching the BBC for the last couple of days and the images are nothing short of dire. In spite of my belief in the general good intentions of humanity as a whole, there will always be those on the margins that make the world a scary place and living one's life without fear can take a lot of courage and strength. Which leads to...

4. I'm still alive. This year will mark the eighteenth anniversary of the accident (?) where my motorcycle was hit by a hit-and-run driver. That is a blog post in and of itself, but in a nutshell I use this time every year to ruminate on all of the things I would have missed had I died in that accident (a mission, graduate school, marriage, my children, learning how to play the organ, etc) and it's hard not to feel grateful for everything I have.

If you haven't already, please spend a few minutes today to remember all of the things you're grateful for. Happy Thanksgiving!

After today, it really is over...or is it?

I've read several blog posts that drip with paranoia about this election being stolen. I'm not entirely convinced the last two elections were stolen. I've seen a lot of evidence both sides trot out to prove their side was robbed and will be again this election, and I'm not buying it.

Here are my predictions for this evening:

• We'll probably know who the winner is once the Pennsylvania, Ohio and Florida results come in. If they all go blue, which I thinking is fairly likely unless all of the polls are wrong, I don't see how McCain can win. If they all go red, it'll be a lot harder (though not impossible) for Obama to win. The only way this would turn into a late night is a repeat of 2004 where Pennsylvania goes blue but the others go red. In that case, this will be a close race, and we'll need to see how some of the smaller swing states turn out. Having said all that, I don't think it'll be close.
  
• Neither candidate will address his supporters before the polls close on the west coast, in order to prevent down-ticket chaos.
• Pandemonium will break out at Obama's victory celebration in Grant Park, and Chicago law enforcement will have their hands full.
• McCain won't concede the race until very late, after all of the poll results have come in. For those playing drinking games at home, he'll say the following: POW once, Joe the Plumber five times, Maverick ten times, "my friends" at least 30 times, and he won't mention his running mate once.

Am I right? Am I so full of crap that my eyes are brown? We'll see...

All Prop 8 All The Time

I love the Bloggernacle! It's like going to Sunday School where more than the usual 3 or 4 people comment and the comments are actually varied and interesting, unlike the same spoon-fed pablum we've all grown up listening to. But the whole Proposition 8 debate is starting to drive me nuts. We've got a cratering economy in the U.S. and elsewhere, a couple of wars in the middle east that aren't going too well, gazillions still being abused and slaughtered daily in Darfur, starving children and sex trafficking the world over, and yet the impression I get after a while of reading various LDS blogs is that gay marriage is the only thing going on.

I've been hesitant to go on record about which way I stand, but for full disclosure sake, here it goes: I'm neutral. I don't care which way Proposition 8 goes. It's happening in another state and it doesn't affect me at all. Which isn't to say that I'm opposed to gay marriage. I'm not gay and I don't personally know anyone who is (although I don't go out of my way to avoid them.) I agree with the prophets and apostles that homosexual acts are a sin, at least when performed by homosexuals. I have no problem with homosexual acts between married consenting opposite-gendered adults in private.

But here's the kicker. I realize my views aren't the only valid ones out there and I feel uncomfortable having them encoded into law. We live in a pluralistic society, and I feel discrimination is a bigger problem in this instance. I also feel that all of the arguments I've heard against gay marriage fall short of explaining how gay marriage threatens or even affects my marriage. I'm far more concerned about the sexual predator living next door (metaphorically speaking, of course. My real-life next door neighbor is fine) than the gay couple living down the street (also metaphorical).

I also fail to see how calling them "Civil Unions" is fine but marriage isn't. If I were living in California or anywhere else where civil unions are legal, I'd be tempted to call my wife my domestic partner and our marriage a civil union, just to see the reactions I would get. I'd imagine they wouldn't be very favorable. Alas, here in Utah, we the people settled this a few years ago by ammending our constitution to ban both gay marriage and civil unions, so the ability to stage that political stunt isn't available to me.

My evil undead blood-drenched playlist

Let's face it. If you're a fan of death metal, every day is like Halloween. It took me a long time to come up with this list and I'm quite proud of it. So while children innocently go door to door asking for treats and teenagers and grown-ups go to parties, I'll be doing my annual Hallows Eve tradition of working in my office with all the lights out and the following blasting on my headphones:

• Fates Warning - Prelude to Ruin, Shades of Heavenly Death, Night on Brocken (of course), The Apparition, Epitaph
  
• Slayer - Hell Awaits, Black Magic, Altar of Sacrifice, Necrophobic, Criminally Insane, Seasons In The Abyss, 213, Post Mortem, Raining Blood
  
• Iron Maiden - Number of the Beast, Phantom of the Opera
• Killswitch Engage - A Bid Farewell
• Indestroy - I Dismember Mama
• Kreator - Pleasure To Kill, Terrible Certainty
• Coroner - Reborn through Hell, Totentanz, R.I.P.
  
• Arch Enemy - Dead Eyes (See No Future)
• Sepultura - Bestial Devastation, Beneath The Remains, Regnum Irae (Under Siege), Inquisition Symphony (yes it's an instrumental, but it's awesome!)
• Napalm Death - Scum, The Chains that Bind Us, Vision Conquest
• Cannibal Corpse - Buried in the Backyard, Unleashing the Bloodthirsty, Submerged in Boiling Flesh
  
• Helloween - Halloween (not really death metal, but appropriate nonetheless)
  

Happy Halloween!

To Everything (Turn, Turn, Turn) There is a (Silly) Season

With barely over a week to go, we're definitely into the silly season. This AP article highlights tactics used by some in the Christian right to instill fear in the hearts of voters, especially young evangelicals who are bucking their older brethren and sisteren to vote for Obama. The thing I took away from this article is that the only Evangelical group making noise against Obama is Dr. James Dobson's 527 group. That there isn't more involvement from other religious rightists suggests that either Evangelicals still aren't sold on McCain, or the claims that the religious right is losing influence and becoming less relevant are true, or both.

The Rep. Michele Bachmann (R-Minn) saga has been interesting to watch as well. After launching a McCarthyesque witch hunt to root out Anti-american subversives on Hardball, she tried offering plausible denial to mainstream news outlets (see here and here, among others) while doubling down the craziness on two right-wing radio talk shows. This prompted the NRCC to withdraw ad funding, while her opponent El Tinklenberg raked in over a million dollars in fundraising (I sent $50 his way too). Now she's running an apology ad while polls show she's falling behind in an otherwise safe, conservative congressional district. There are two immediate takeaways from this. First, it's drawn national interest in an otherwise obscure congressional race. Second, it's amazing that a guy with a name like El Tinklenberg is a viable candidate for any office.

Finally, there's the whole flap over Sarah Palin's $150,000 wardrobe and the McCain campaign's disjointed response (see here, here and here for examples). For me, the most galling of these was when McCain aide Tracey Schmitt said, "With all of the important issues facing the country right now, it's remarkable that we're spending time talking about pantsuits and blouses." I'm assuming the important issues she's referring to are William Ayers and whether Obama is a socialist or Muslim plant.

So unless you're facing foreclosure or about to be laid off from your job, pop some popcorn, kick back in your EZ-chair, and enjoy the show. It's going to be a wild finish.

Does the law of consecration extend to LDS employment?

This hasn't actually happened to me (yet), so at this stage it's more of a hypothetical. I'm currently looking for a new job. All of the recent upheaval in the financial services sector has created a lot of FUD (Fear, Uncertainty, Doubt) with my current employer. So I'm currently in the market for a new job.

I have about twenty former co-workers, friends and acquaintances that work in the LDS Church's I.T. department. I'm well aware that the church is looking for Java developers to work in the family history and temple departments. I've seen several flyers advertising job positions on the billboard at the meetinghouse, and I got the impression from one that they're advertising outside of Utah. I'm sure I could land a job there if I wanted to. The thing is, I don't want to.

It's not that I'm secretly struggling with my testimony. In fact, this may sound strange coming from an active member who holds callings and pays tithes, but the reason I don't want to work for the church is that I don't think I'd be a good fit culturally. Even reading only a couple of posts, it's fairly obvious that I'm a square peg. I have no doubt that the church is true, that Thomas S. Monson is a prophet, that the Book of Mormon is true, and I have hardly any objections to core church doctrines. Having said that, there are several aspects about the LDS culture, especially in Utah, that drive me crazy. I don't care for green Jello and funeral potatoes, I don't play basketball very well, I hate BYU sports (actually, hate isn't a strong enough word), I have facial hair, and then there's the whole speedo thing.

It occurred to me the other day that either an I.T. recruiter or some I know at the church could call me and use the Law of Consecration to guilt-trip me into accepting a position at the church. I know the Law of Consecration says that we are to dedicate all of our time, talents and abilities to building up the kingdom. Does that include working for the church if one's skills are in demand there? I don't think so. I've always assumed that consecrating our time and talents to the church was limited to magnifying our callings and raising our children in righteousness. In my particular case, I believe I can help build up Zion by remaining off the church's payroll. Feel free to correct me if I'm wrong.

The Olympics Are Over...Now Let the Games Begin

At the start of the week, the big story hanging over the Democratic National Convention was whether or not the Obama and Clinton camps could make peace after a very rough primary season. Indeed, the first day there were a little over three dozen PUMAs protesting outside the Pepsi Center. Even though it was far less than the hundreds (thousands?) that were expected to turn out, Nightline devoted a third of their first night's broadcast to covering them and there was a big dustup between a protester and Chris Matthews of MSNBC. Unity was clearly the goal of the first night, which is why there was a lack of red meat for the partisans to chew on. Michelle Obama capped off the night with a great speech. If the goal was to help humanize her and distance her from her earlier gaffe, I'd say mission accomplished.

Everyone was also nervous about giving the Clintons so much prominence at the convention. And while some wondered whether Hillary went far enough in endorsing Obama, Bill went above and beyond with a ringing endorsement. It was vintage Clinton, and brought back a lot of warm fuzzy memories of 1992. If anything, it became more difficult to blame the Clintons should Obama lose in November. I'd say they did as much as they could to help Obama's cause.

Finally, there was a lot of concern that Obama's choice to address the convention at Invesco Field was going to lend even more credence to the celebrity meme. Instead, it was nothing short of AWESOME!!

Now it's McCain's turn. I started off writing this as a comment to another blog post, but it started getting lengthy so I figured I'd better post it here instead. Here are my thoughts:

My initial reaction to the choice of Sarah Palin for veep is that McCain is still trying to peel away some of Hillary Clinton's supporters. In fact, it seems both VP choices were made as reactions to the events of the time. McCain gained in the polls while Russia and Georgia were engaged in a high-stakes game of chicken, which compelled Obama to choose Biden to help gain some foreign policy cred. Meanwhile, McCain has been reaching out to disaffected Clinton supporters, hoping a fractured party would cause some of them to defect. However, despite a rough start, it appears the convention helped heal those divisions. Further, Obama's speech galvanized most of Clinton's supporters who were still on the fence. So McCain made a (some might say) desperate choice to see if he could still pull off some Clinton support.

Having read a little more, it seems Palin will help McCain with evangelicals and social conservatives, arguably as much as Mike Huckabee would but without Huckabee's baggage. While I imagine some of my neighbors will be disappointed that McCain didn't choose Romney, to my knowledge Palin hasn't made any on-the-record anti-Mormon statements, which might have hurt McCain ever so slightly in Utah had he chosen the Huckster instead. She also has shown some reformist tendencies by challenging the party establishment in Alaska (which might actually cause some conservatives who already have trust issues with McCain to be even more wary).

Having said all that, where I think this hurts McCain is that it effectively takes away one of his strongest arguments against Obama: inexperience. If anything, the veep choice is more relevant this year than most given McCain's advanced age and hard life. Granted, both campaigns need to be wary of pushing the inexperience issue very hard, and I've already seen some comments from Democrats that make me uncomfortable.

Also, McCain clearly needs help on the economy, and while Palin doesn't own more than one house (that I'm aware of) while Romney owns at least as many as McCain does, Romney's business experience and perceived economic strengths could have helped make up for McCain's weakness on the economy. I don't think Palin helps him there. Also, Palin has zero foreign policy experience. McCain is clearly hoping his own foreign policy experience would be enough, and if he stays healthy it likely would be. But if anything happens to him, would we want Palin leading the charge against Russia, Iran, Venezuela, and Palestine? Even though Obama still needs some seasoning, we've gotten to know him over the last eighteen months (to the point where some are even claiming fatigue) and his speech last night clearly outlined where he stands and how he intends to govern. With Palin, most voters will be starting from scratch and it's a little late in the game.

Even with all that, veep choices rarely determine an election (even a close one) and this may all turn out to be overblown.

Of course we're not racists in Utah

And now for something so deliciously ironic it belongs in the Onion. Elections have had their share of kitsch over the years and we've already had another doozy in this cycle in the form of the Hillary Clinton nutcracker. Now comes the Obama monkey doll. Unlike the nutcracker, you won't be able to buy this one online. After a nationwide furor, the asshats that concocted this abomination have decided not to sell the doll after all.

Call me crazy, but I actually sort of believe their explanation that they didn't know caricaturing an African-american people as monkeys could be considered extremely racist and insensitive. We live in an area that's just about 100% white, and the only time we learned about people of African-american descent in school was during Black History month.

Still, it doesn't take a master's level course in subtle racism in media past and present to know that this is extremely offensive. And I'm embarassed to share a zip code with these ignoramuses. My motivation in posting this is the sincere hope that anyone who happens to stumble upon it will find not all of us in West Jordan are this backwards.